Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize