I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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