Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
