something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
