Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
