this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
