please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
