He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
