WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
