I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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