apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
