i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
