that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
