he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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