Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
