who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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