i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
