How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
