i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
