Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize