Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize