You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
