its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
