would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
