Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
