I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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