come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
