It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
