if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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