I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
