Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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