i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014