Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
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I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.