hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.