i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.