Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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