I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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