Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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