He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
