we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
