i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I understand Curling. That high.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
