i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Blood and glitter go together right?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
