There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
well you can't waste a boner
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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