and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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