He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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