Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
