So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
