Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
