I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My vagina is officially offended.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize