If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
