No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ugly people sure do ruin things
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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