she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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