it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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