Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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