Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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