Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
