My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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