Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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