Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
