Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
