And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
